Dogs Are A Jashinist's Best Friend
by Chi Haku
Summary: Who knew a mere DOG could make Kakuzu jealous? Who knew that dog had an evil little mind? Who knew it was a yaoi lover! Featuring Konan's cookies, hints at DeiSaso and tiny hints at an uke Itachi in whateva pairing you want KakuHida, my first ever!


KakuHida: Dogs are a Jashinist's best friend

"But why not?"

"Because I said so."

"That's not fair!"

"Yes it is."

"But-but!"

Kakuzu spun around on his heel and glared at the Jashinist. "I. Said. NO."

The silver haired male pouted considerably, his eyes pleading. In his arms he held a small golden retriever puppy, watery brown eyes also focused on Kakuzu. Though the money lover had to admit the thing was cute…No. He WOULD NOT tolerate it. Puppies were evil creatures of the devil in his opinion.

"No Hidan. I don't want to keep it."

"Hikari's not an it! He's a male!"

"You NAMED it?!"

"HE!"

Kakuzu struggled to retain his temper. "Hidan. If you want to talk about religion then hear this. Dogs-puppies in particular- are the SPAWN OF SATAN."

"??Why??"

"I have my reasons."

Hidan blinked, and was about to retaliate when Konan appeared in the doorway with a tray of cookies.

"Welcome back! Good to see you- Is that a puppy?!"

At the word puppy (and the smell of Konan's amazing chocolate chip cookies) the whole rest of the Akatsuki appeared.

"I smell cookies….And heard the word puppy!" Pein said, grabbing a cookie (A/N: XD) and looking at the dog in Hidan's arms.

"Name?" Itachi asked.

"Hikari."

"…..He's cute."

Kakuzu gaped behind his mask. ITACHI thought that thing was cute?! Hell had was now handing out stuffed animals to kids.

"Can we keep him?" Deidara voiced from the couch, Sasori comfortably perched on his lap.

"Can we?" asked Hidan.

"Weeellll…."

Suddenly Pein was faced with three of the cutest most uke-ish faces ever.

"Please?" chorused Itachi, Hidan and Sasori.

"Hell yes."

Ah. The power of the uke.

Kakuzu grimaced and stormed off to his and Hidan's shared room. He growled, discarding his mask and cloak. Damn dog… he muttered in his head.

Soon enough Hidan came in with that…that….THING. It bounded up on to Hidan's bed, whining happily. Hidan laughed and jumped on to the bed next to it. The dog tackled Hidan and then jumped back, crouching down in a pouncing position, tail wagging.

"Oh that's how you play then?!"

Hidan tackled the dog who barked happily, darting out of his reach. They continued their tussle on the bed, barks and laughs issuing around the room. Kakuzu twitched in annoyance. This thing was bugging him and it hadn't even been here a day.

"Could you keep it down? I'm working here."

Hidan frowned and ceased his movements. "Fine. We'll go elsewhere. C'mon Hikari, I'm sure Itachi and Sasori would love to join us."

And with that he left the room, slamming the door behind him.

Kakuzu sighed and rubbed his temples. That thing was going to make his life HELL.

Lalala…Timeskip-oid.

Kakuzu. Was. Pissed.

That wretched dog had kept him up all night with it's whining and mewling, and now it had destroyed one of his check books! Luckily it was a spare, but none the less…

"Hidan, that thing HAS to go!"

"C'mon 'Kuzu! You left it out! It's not Hikari's fault!!"

"Oh yes it is!"

In Kakuzu's opinion, world hunger was that dog's doing. It was ALL the dog's fault. All of it.

Hidan huffed and patted his thigh, calling Hikari over. The little retriever trotted after his master, into the living room. Where Konan, Sasori, Itachi, and Hidan all commenced huggling him. Kakuzu wrinkled his nose at the sight of the boys (and one girl) cooing over the devil creature. He really, REALLY didn't like that dog. It stole all of Hidan's attention. Attention usually spent on a certain miser.

Watching the dog lick Hidan's face, he glared.

My Hidan…MINE.

Hidan lay on his bed, scratching behind Hikari's ears.

"Kuzu's been really irritable lately…It upsets me…" he mumbled to the faithful pup.

The dog's head snapped up, tilted to the side.

"You noticed too huh? He's not talking to me much anymore…"

The dog whined, laying his head on his paws.

"And just when I was getting up the courage to tell him I loved him too…"

At that, Hikari's ears perked. He was well aware that Kakuzu was VERY jealous of him, and knew that's why he was avoiding Hidan. He ALSO knew that it was making his master unhappy. So how to get Kakuzu to like him, and Hidan to confess his feelings in one go?

Hikari nuzzled into his paws. An evil idea forming in his doggy mind.

Yet another time skip.

Kakuzu blinked. "What do you want mutt?"

Next to him, sitting politely by his seat was Hikari. The dog was just staring at him, quietly observing. He glared at the dog, dog staring politely back.

"Go away. I have nothing to say to you." Kakuzu said, turning away with a huff.

He knew he was being childish. But this was his rival. He had to be like this.

Hikari barked, standing up.

"Nope. Not listening."

He barked again.

"No."

If he could have, the golden dog would have rolled his eyes. Some humans were SO stupid. He looked around for a reason to make Kakuzu follow him, his eyes gleaming at a certain something. He knew he shouldn't, really he shouldn't. but what choice did he have? Slipping slyly around the table he stood slightly on a chair and grabbed the object on the very edge.

A bark sounded from behind Kakuzu. He turned and his eyes widened.

That dog did NOT have his accounting book.

"You…better….give…that…back."

Tail wagging once, Hikari took off towards the door, enraged banker right behind him. This was hella dangerous, but if it made his master happy, then fine.

He raced down the halls and out the door, toward the sea. He ran and ran, checking every now and then to make sure Kakuzu was following. Hikari made a sharp left and ran even faster. God he hoped he was in time. Stopping just short of a pile of rocks, he dropped the booklet and waited for the banker. He came ten seconds later, eyes murderous.

'Why you little-"

He froze at the sigh tin front of him.

Hidan stood on the pile of rocks, only a pair of pants on. His silver hair gleamed in the sunlight, pale skin shining. Hikari watched Kakuzu gape at the (extremely sexy) male in front of him. He wagged his tail and his eyes gleamed evilly. Now for the REAL show to begin.

"I wish I could just tell Kakuzu…" mused Hidan out loud.

"Tell me what?"

Hidan jumped at the voice in his ear, word punctuated by the arms around his waist. He shivered as hot breath tickled his neck, making him VERY aware of how close Kakuzu was.

"I-I um…."

"Yes?"

"I…uh….love…you?" Hidan went brick red. Crap. There went that.

"Lucky you. I love you too."

"Eh?!"

Hidan had next to no time to register the comment as a pair of lips came crushing on to his own. He gasped, but the shock was quickly replaced by pleasure as Kakuzu's tongue slipped into his mouth. Damnit this felt wonderful. Kakuzu's tongue roamed his mouth freely, dipping into every crevice he could find, leaving nothing untouched. Hidan shivered and turned to face his partner, making it easier for him to access his mouth. Kakuzu immediately cupped his face, Hidan's arms lacing around his neck.

After what seemed like eternity, they broke apart. Both panting, eyes lust filled.

"Hidan…."

"Kakuzu…"

Suddenly a huge wave seemingly JUMPED out of the ocean and crashed down on the pair.

"Wh-what the-?!" Kakuzu yelled.

Hidan shook his now dripping hair and spun around. "CURSE YOU OCEAN! RUIN THE DAMN MOMENT!"

Kakuzu burst into laughter as Hidan cursed the salty water. He leaned forward and grabbed his new boyfriend's hand, tugging him slightly closer, he sealed his cursing lips in a chaste kiss.

"Love you zealot."

"You too heathen."

Hidan blushed and muttered something about changing clothes. Kakuzu watched his retreating back, until he disappeared from view. It was only when a soft whine met his ears that he remembered Hikari. He turned to the dog.

"You knew didn't you?"

Hikari wagged his tail and barked happily.

"Heh. Nice." he went over and scratched the dog's ears.

Suddenly, the golden retriever danced out of his reach and behind some rocks. He came back a minute later with the man's book.

"Hey, thanks. You got it out of the water."

Hikari held up his paw and Kakuzu grinned, hitting it in a high five. "You're not so bad mutt."


End file.
